My writing process is very up and down. I enjoy researching my topic and finding evidence that works for and against my piece because that enables me to see the point from both perspectives and also allows me to think of more creative or concrete ways to either defend my position or refute the opposite. Some areas where I struggle at in my essay writing are transitioning from one idea to the next and elaborating on my thesis statement. I needed to get more in depth with my main points instead of briefly going over what needs to change and why that would be effective. Those phases were a struggle for me because I had trouble connecting the previous and the next paragraph to each other and because at first and second glance I thought I had delved deep enough into those points but that wasn’t the case. Having peers read my work really opened my eyes to the weaknesses in my writing and that allowed me to see what I was doing wrong in ways I wouldn’t have been able to see without their help. I feel like my work is generally very stat/fact heavy with main points and support for those points following the facts so I can also integrate the three better. All in all my writing needs a lot more work but I think I have the mindset and teaching to improve it.
My piece was about the cruel cycle of poverty and education and how they directly affect each other and can only be fixed with help from the other. I think I was very clear on my stance regarding what needed to be fixed and I think I had strong, relevant facts to support my stance. However, I could have used more personal examples or narratives that would have appealed to the reader’s emotions. My piece could have flowed better in addition to elaborating on how the teaching methods could be improved and how that would positively affect both education and poverty. I was really trying to get through to parents and board members in those struggling communities/districts. They are the ones who can make a change in the education system because of their power and influence on laws and regulations. I tried to state as many facts as possible, which would appeal to their logic, but I should have put more emotional narratives and examples into my piece.
John Olson
My piece was about the cruel cycle of poverty and education and how they directly affect each other and can only be fixed with help from the other. I think I was very clear on my stance regarding what needed to be fixed and I think I had strong, relevant facts to support my stance. However, I could have used more personal examples or narratives that would have appealed to the reader’s emotions. My piece could have flowed better in addition to elaborating on how the teaching methods could be improved and how that would positively affect both education and poverty. I was really trying to get through to parents and board members in those struggling communities/districts. They are the ones who can make a change in the education system because of their power and influence on laws and regulations. I tried to state as many facts as possible, which would appeal to their logic, but I should have put more emotional narratives and examples into my piece.
John Olson