Waking up early after staying up to late watching movies, dressing up (I hated dresses and skirts, why weren’t jeans allowed?), sticking my hand in the cold water of the baptismal font, and trying to keep my eyes open for two hours of prayer were what my Sundays consisted of. Why was the Priest wearing that fancy dress and why did they let him sing when he sounded like Kermit the Frog? Everything was fancy and, traditional. All I wanted was the doughnuts that we usually ate afterwards. I even had my first communion, wearing the white dress just like every little girl I received the bread and wine for the first time. Everyone was thrilled in my step as a Catholic, but for me all it meant was eating stale bread and drinking wine that gave me a head ache. I was confused why anyone would like church.
The dread from my young elementary aged self turned into hate for church as I entered my middle school years. I did not understand the purpose of religion especially the one of my parents because it certainly wasn’t my own. I felt no connection to this so called God. I kept hearing the pattern of politics in the Priest’s sermon. Abortions should be banned, and gay marriage is unacceptable. Using the sermon time for political propaganda instead of learning about Jesus was inappropriate. How was I to learn to love religion if I knew nothing about the bible? Clearly I was not learning anything at church. During this time, I questioned everything. I would constantly ask my father who is a devoted Catholic why do we stand while reading the bible, I can read it at home while sitting. I found myself completely opposed to the traditions and views of religion.
This negative view towards faith lasted up until the end of middle school. At this I had surrounded myself with a group of friends who whole heartily valued their faith and loved their church. I would have never guessed the impact that these friends would have on my perspective about religion. One of these friends was a pastor’s daughter, and she invited me to her youth group. Of course I said yes since she was my best friend, but inside I was anxious. I did not want to expose my opposition to religion especially since it was minority opinion in my friend group. I would never guess how much the invitation she offered would change my life.
The first time I visited her youth group (Flipside), I was amazed at the gathering of youth worshiping and praising Jesus. I had never been in an environment in which so many peers chose to be at church. Everyone was extremely welcoming, and I instantly was playing ping pong with new friends. It was completely odd at first. The lack of traditions shocked me. The group started with a hotdog eating contest, I had never seen this at my church. The contest was completely disgusting, peanut butter and cream cheese do not belong on a hotdog. I held my own while others quickly ran to the bathroom throw up the nasty food. The fun activity was not the only aspect differed from my church. They didn’t sing hymns but rather played contemporary worship, no standing when the gospel was read and no sign of the cross before prayer. It was gathering of students like myself who were dedicated to their faith. I was not used to discussing the bible in conversational form and truly learning what it meant to have faith. I learned more the first time I visited than I had at the Catholic my family attended. The visit only made me more interested in learning what faith could mean to me.
While I was still opposed to religion after the first visit, the small gesture that my friend made changed my life drastically. I continued to attend the youth group where I learn and soak up as much information I could about Jesus and faith. Eventually I found my faith, and pursued it with passion. Without joining the youth group, I believe that I would be opposed to religion. Faith has become the most important part of my life. I made a drastic change from hatred towards religion to an unconditional love towards someone greater than myself. Not only did I gain faith, but I became the person I am today. I learned to judge less, be more kind and to live life to the fullest. The negative middle school girl blossomed into a faith based loving individual all thanks to one invitation.
It is amazing how the simple things in life, can impact a person the most.
- Regina Ballew
To my right is my friend Janna, the person who offered me the invitation to her youth group. Beside Janna are my other close friends, Emily and Shea. This was our last outing as a youth group. These are the people who have encouraged me in my walk of faith.