“My transition to high school was completely nerve racking since I was the only one from Saint Louise,” she said. Saint Louise is a small private K through 8th private school. Many of the students live in different school districts around the Bellevue and Seattle area. For Sarah this meant her best friend would not attend the same high school as she did. Not being with her best friend only added to her nerves about transitioning to high school.
While many students thrived in the high school environment, Sarah struggled to find her place. The transition from her small community to a large public school was a struggle, but not in the way you may think. She did not struggle with the academics, but rather with her appearance. “People had certain expectations. Everyone looked skinny which made me afraid to gain weight,” Sarah explained. She just wanted to fit in with her peers since she was new to the school. It wasn’t helpful that her first friend fell under the pressure of a slim appearance. “While Tory was the nicest and most genuine person she started to negatively influence me. I found myself following her lead and skipping lunch.” She described her issue with food made her feel weak and unhealthy. She was carrying the weight of her eating issue and low self esteem all alone.
What made her hate her eating issue, carrying it all alone, was what made her love backpacking. “I feel my strength increase as I carry all my own weight on the trail. With each step I gain confidence in myself,” described Sarah. The summer after her freshman year, her dad and her went on their first backpacking trip which started the healing process. Every summer after that she has gone on a trip continuing to regain the strength that was lost.
Some of her inspiration comes from her family’s love and commitment in her journey, and some comes from Cheryl Strayed the author of Wild. “Cheryl’s reason to hike the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT) is similar to my reason for backpacking. We have both struggled in our lives, and for us hiking is a healing process,” she said. Cheryl’s journey to hike the PTC has inspired Sarah to hike the 2, 650-mile trail from the Mexican border to the Canadian border. Sarah explained that “the five-month long hike will be a healing experience, and a time of self discovery.” She plans to hike the PCT right after college for a chance to discover who she truly is.
“I will always struggle with the idea of appearance, but through learning to positively carry my own weight I have began to heal the scars.”
-Regina Ballew
* Names have been changed to protect their privacy