I started the year at a new school and was both excited and nervous. At lunch, I would walk around the enormous quad hoping to find a new friend or a familiar face to eat with. After courageously attempting to join all the different social circles day after day, I just never felt welcome. I slowly realized eating on the floor below my locker was a lot more comfortable.
Still, every morning, when I would hop out of the “safety zone,” the passenger seat of my mom’s car, I’d be optimistic. I would think, “This day will be different,” and would cheerfully walk past the iron gates to my locker and wave a friendly “Hello!” to my classmates. Most of them pretended I didn’t exist.
After the first few weeks of school, I put myself in survival mode the minute I’d get out of the passenger seat. I’d wrap myself in an imaginary protective layer and focus on schoolwork. I adjusted and became a chameleon to blend in. I asked my teachers to present privately after school to avoid the hushed jeers and laughter that became unbearable. Classmate’s cruel words made me want to work harder and do better. So I did.
The days were long during those first few months of 9th grade. I counted the minutes for the afternoon bell to ring even though I knew when my academic day would be over. I couldn’t wait to fall into the safety of the passenger seat of my mom’s car every evening. I could finally breathe. When my mom would ask, “How was your day?” I’d steal myself and say, “Okay,” while smiling to cover up the despair I felt deep within me.
I held on to this dream that things would change, that it would get easier. But after going through this daily routine for six months, I decided I had enough. No matter how hard I tried, the bullying wasn’t stopping. I know right from wrong and prefer kindness to hatred. I didn’t have to live this way. After much consideration with my parents, I decided to take action and changed schools to make my life better.
Bullying typically makes the victim weaker, but bullying made me stronger. It made me realize that I can accomplish anything if I put my mind to it. I was strong enough to change schools and was resilient enough to begin again.
-Micaela Gotfredson